Attacking the Novella

For about six months, I was regularly working on a short story that made me inspired and proud. I kept it in the box of a “short story” because that’s all it was in my mind. I wouldn’t let it grow past that stage because it would become too hard to control and manage. Then I put it away for about another six months because I didn’t know how to end it or what to do with it anymore. The plot stirring in my brain and the depth I wanted to go into with the characters had naturally grown past a short story and into a mini novella.

A ‘mini novella’ is the best description right now. Novella’s start at about 17,000 words and mine is 11,000. The most important part is not to focus on the word count so I don’t freeze up. It’s more valuable to allow the story to take the shape it needs, even if it doesn’t fit into the prettiest box when it’s complete.

If novellas interest you, check out this New Yorker article, which describes some of the history of them and also recommends the author’s favorites.

I started writing it again at the beginning of 2016 for two reasons. A. I have a general idea of how I want it to end. B. It was annoying to leave a project I am proud of, unfinished.

My final decision is that this is a work that will be shared. Lately I’ve been listening to punk rock/low fi/eclecto musician, Kathleen Hanna. She’s been in multiple bands, from her punk rock days in Bikini Kill, then a solo artist Julie Ruin, then another group Le Tigre and most recently a group show as The Julie Ruin.

In The Punk Singer, a documentary about her music career, she describes that she literally created the Julie Ruin album in her bedroom. She feels that girl’s bedrooms are places of creativity but the products often are secret and she choose to share hers.

I thought about my story and decided that I would share it, perhaps by printing out copies and/or creating it’s own website when completed. I’m not expecting it to feel as special to anyone else, but this is a perfect piece to share.

Organic Cotton Clothing

In my experiment with finding ways to reduce my exposure to chemicals, one part really was a hit. I ordered a custom made 100% organic cotton shirt from an Etsy seller and fell in love with it. And in general with cotton, even better if it’s organic.

The cotton is strong and soft and because it’s a natural fabric, doesn’t hang onto smells or stains as much as manmade fabrics.

I’m also very picky about clothing and I enjoy having hardworking staples that I can wear in lots of different ways. So I ordered two more dresses, one from Violet Star Creations.

It’s such a pretty soft blue and I’ve already worn it with happiness.

The second is from Woolen Moss.

Also beautiful and versatile and has been worn a lot since it’s arrival!

These clothes are not inexpensive to buy. The perks are that they are custom sewn to your measurements and are finished well. The sales support independent designers, very nearly free of any concerns of sweatshops, underpaid workers or unneeded chemicals.

When compared to what a new dress from Urban Outfitters might cost, the monetary costs are similar, but Urban Outfitters offers none of the above perks.

So for me to save up and purchase some of these items to add to my closet makes a lot of sense, especially with how often I seem to wear them. Check out the links to the artist’s stores directly for more information!

Being Tough and a Woman

An insult that really hurts is to be called a bitch. I’m not sure why ‘bitch’ is more hurtful than ‘asshole’ or any other go-to insult, but, as a woman, it really bothers me. I’ve had conversations where other women feel that being called a bitch by another woman is worse than being called a bitch by a man. Personally, I disagree.

When I hear a man call a woman a bitch, I flinch. It makes me angry. It feels unacceptable. The reason why it bothers me so much is that, logically, a woman can’t turn around and call a man a bitch. If she does, there’s some kind of unreal nature to it, an exaggerated tone to it. A bitch is something only a woman can be. When men say it, they (probably without realizing it) are saying, “You are this terrible thing, something that I cannot and will not ever be”. When a woman says it to another woman, she’s saying, “You are being what we all socially agreed not to be”. To really flesh out this thought, the meaning of “bitch” needs to be well defined, which it isn’t for me yet and I’m not going to focus on that right now.

Insults are a funny thing. I’ve been insulted and it’s bounced off and forgotten on many occasions. Other times, I’ve literally thought about it for years and it still hurts my feelings.

I realize this is a scattered thought. One week ago, I was unnecessarily called a bitch by a man and I’m still trying to work through the complexities of why it was so hard to hear.

And women have, fortunately, taken back ownership some of this word. Right, beey-botch?!

Healthy Clothes To Healthier Products

The search for healthier, more ethical clothing led me into an area that should have seemed obvious, but getting thoughtful about the products I use on my body and in my home didn’t seem connected to this mission.

Articles I read referenced more than just ethical clothing companies. I learned a lot about new product lines and, just like a branch on a tree, found my reading branching off into sub-interests.

Safe and ethical beauty products and home products were a harder swallow. Not only are they way easier, cheaper and more abundant to go the most chemical filled route, the information about the safeness and effectiveness of different products is not that clear.

Starting with beauty products seemed right for me. My face products were already safe: witch hazel to clean and coconut oil to moisturize. My method was to take out all unnatural products and experiment with products that are rated very safe on the EWG database. If I liked them, they became part of my new collection. This included mascara, toothpaste, sunscreen, sunscreen lip balm, bar soap and deodorant.

Here’s my verdict…Sadly, most of the all natural products weren’t the right fit for me. My teeth hurt after a week of using the all natural toothpaste. The pain stopped after switching back to my normal brand.

One item I really, really wanted to work was all natural sunblock. I tried Badger for both the face and lip block. This is not chemical sunscreen that sinks into the skin. Instead it is a zinc based layer that sits on top of it. My skin itched and it came off if I rubbed my face. It annoyed me enough to switch back.

The all natural lip sunscreen, on the other hand, is still happily with me and I wear it daily. What irritated me on my face is not even noticeable on my lips. Score.

The all natural, mineral mascara works well, except it’s not waterproof. It’s called Pacifica. Semi-score.

The bar soap smells awesome and makes me happy. I’ve been buying “Good” bars with no packaging on sale at Whole Foods.

Deodorant was a battle. I found a recipe and made my own mix, which worked okay, until it started a rash under my armpit. Over two months, I tried a variety of application attempts and it just didn’t heal until I switched to regular deodorant. Although the brand I have now doesn’t have aluminum, it does have a fairly high “toxicity” score on EWG. This is still an unsolved mystery as to what my next step will be.

The only household product replacement I did was a watered down Dr. Bronner’s in a spray bottle, which works great for everything. Another score. But I did find my old hankies and cloth napkins and started those in rotation. I also made new rags which are helping reduce the amount of paper towels I use.

I also did research on each company to see who I was buying from and learning who own what company was eye opening and is a whole series in itself.

Since most of them aren’t a long term fit, I’m going to have to wait until more effective products come out.

Getting educated on all this was the by product and doesn’t feel the least bit like time wasted. At least I’ve been able to reduce my exposure to unneeded chemicals that much more. Until next time!

 

Getting Stronger: Another Timeout

My apologies if this is dull. It’s just what’s on my mind.

I’ve been learning lots of new skills for the past 6-8 months. Learning about how databases work, about how research is done, what data science actually is and how people use it.

At the beginning, I was scared of all this because it was out of my learning sphere. What I mean is that it’s harder to learn something new if you have no background basis in it. Once even a little bit of it sticks, it’s easier to keep sticking more pieces of information on from there.

These will be lifetime skills that I have to keep working on, but I’m glad to finally have a basis. And I hope to get stronger from here.

Walking the Beautiful Dog: A Time Out

Today’s post is a break from the sustainable fashion series I’ve been plowing through.

Instead, today I’m musing about dogs. I don’t own a dog, but I do borrow my boyfriend’s parent’s dog to walk, usually once or twice a week. She used to live with a pack of dogs and now is all by her lonesome, the last of the pack left.

Our walks are my time outs. There is a great park near his parents and it’s our favorite place to go for doggie adventures.

But, first let me tell you something about this dog. She’s beautiful. Not like, “I adore this dog so much that she’s beautiful inside and out because I can see all of her positive attributes”.

Not like that.

If this dog were a person, she’d be a model. She’s thin and long and has big brown eyes and long eyelashes. She’s blonde with long ear hair framing her face. She’d look fantastic in doggie couture, if his parents ever decide to go down that road.

Let me tell you something else about her. She is constantly making a mess of herself, digging in something or sleeping somewhere gross. So I usually spiff her up a bit before taking her out.

And even if I don’t, the reactions to her are intense.

“Wow! Gorgeous!”

“So pretty!”

“She’s beautiful!”

For real, this is what it’s like to walk her. It’s like hanging out with your ridiculously good looking girlfriend who everyone notices and compliments.

In dog form, it’s hilarious because she is totally clueless about all of this and is always focused on figuring out which dog peed in this spot a week ago.

And getting to laugh about that weird intersection of where people values meet dog values is why I love walking the beautiful dog.

A Second Hand Wool Coat

On my biggest visit to donate a bunch of my clothes to The Second Mile , I allowed myself a not so quick peek through the shop. My pickiness level is way up, but I stumbled onto this beautiful vintage 100% pure wool jacket (and skirt, which sadly didn’t fit). Both were soon mine for $12.00. To care for it, I ordered a Kent wool brush and cedar wood hanger, in case of moths.

There’s an awesome label inside, which shows this was made in Portland, Oregon. Secondhand and made in the USA, can’t get much more ethical than that.

It has a proud place in my closet now and looks great with my very vast selection on scarves.

Digging Deeper into Fashion

I’m back with more tales from my adventures in wardrobe reduction! What came about quite naturally in this whole process is that as I began to find out more about the fabrics I was choosing to buy, I was learning why some are pricier and more coveted than others. Part of it turned out to be about pure consumerism and enjoying the designer names on our clothes and accessories. Personally, I don’t like wearing anything with a logo on it but before you think me too perfect for words (ahhh, that’ll be the day!), I will also say that I’m very attracted to designer clothing without logos. If it looks expensive, I’m probably drawn to it. This is a more complex, psychological issue that I will NOT be getting into because we all probably are well aware that many people love pretty things.

Another reason why some fabrics cost more is because they are healthier for oneself and the environment. There are lots of reasons behind this. Perhaps the fabric is organic and involved no pesticides being sprayed on the earth and inhaled by the workers involved. Perhaps it was made by hand by an employee getting paid fair wages, who is safe at their job and has reasonable hours.

The final big idea behind the higher cost of fabrics is that some are built to last. 100% cotton is tough and can survive a lot. Most “fast fashion” fabrics are made to look good on the rack and the first wear and after that, they start to break down. These items are usually cheap to purchase and easy to throw away or donate. Unfortunately, they are not environmentally friendly and often are made with unsafe chemicals and then they sit on the earth for a long time.

There are a lot of scary health concerns around fashion. If you’re interested in doing some more reading, watch ‘The True Cost’, which is available streaming on Netflix. Please also check out these articles that I found helpful:

Waste Couture

Fast Fashion Forum

The True Price of Fast Fashion

Intaking all this information led me to do a personal experiment. I ordered a specially fitted, 100% organic cotton tunic off Etsy.com.

Woolen Moss

It’s very simple and pretty and I think it will last me awhile. I’ve also noticed more natural fabrics are easier to clean and hold up in the wash better.

It’s also easier to afford more expensive items when I don’t buy that many of them.

Whew, well enough heavy thoughts for today…

Upgrading Carefully & Taking Inspiration From What Works

This series about curating a small, thoughtful wardrobe continues.

Today I’m writing about what it was like to find my style inspiration and how I slowly upgraded a few pieces in my closet.

My style was fairly confused before because I had lots of clothes that I liked but didn’t love. I pulled out the ones I loved, examined the cut and the fabric. Moving forward, my goal was to shop less. The only way that can be done is if I buy clothes that will last longer and still keep their shape, color, texture along the way.

One piece that I already had and love is this 100% cotton tank top. It has a wrinkly texture and the army green color goes with a lot of my basic items. It’s easy to wear with belts or to knot up one side. It’s also natural and comfortable looking.

This natural feel reminded me that I prefer soft fabrics that feel lovely and don’t get too hot or too cool. After doing some research, I realized that as high a cotton count as I can find is preferable for me. I got a couple of 100% Pima cotton tanks to add in black, grey and lilac. The lilac seems to have been a mistake because I never feel like wearing it. It also doesn’t go with much else. Mistakes are unfortunately part of the process.

Speaking of mistakes, I’ve also given up on buying unnecessary wardrobe pieces that are only actively worn in my imagination and not in real life. Shoes are one area where I’ve made a lot of errors and now I just accept that I’m a sensible shoe girl who likes to be very comfortable. Here I’ve been able to learn from my successes and upgrading became easier.

An example, you say? Below are two ankle booties. The one on the left is my original pair that I’ve loved and worn regularly throughout all seasons for the past three years. They are my Peter Pan booties! But you can probably see they are starting to get discolored and faded. Even though I’ve had the inside soles replaced, they feel thin and not that comfortable anymore for long walking. My mission was to find a new pair that has the beloved elements from the last ones. I found them in these great leather booties, which are black with a gray stripe around the ankle. The saleswoman fit me one size too large and put in pads to make them soft (these will eventually get worn out and need to be replaced).

For the time being I wear both of these, but it’s easier to say goodbye to my green booties now.

More to come!

Capsule Wardrobes: I’m Just Not That Organized

Continuing on with this series of how I reduced my closet to items that I (mostly) love!

When I was reading about how other people keep their closets small, I noticed that a lot of folks use this concept of a “capsule” wardrobe to keep things fresh.

It took me awhile to understand how this works, as it can be tackled in many ways. Basically, capsule savvy dressers plan each season’s clothing, purposefully picking items that are easy to mix with one another. A season is about three months and is based on the weather seasons, so planning ahead for temperature plays a large role. Some REALLY thoughtful people also choose color, design or style concepts that help shape the looks they strive to create.

Then here’s where individual preferences really come into play…Some people put the rest of their clothes in storage for the three months so that they are limited to the choices in their closet. Keeping the extra clothes (some of which may be out of season entirely or just not fitting in with that particular capsule) is less stressful. It still provides the opportunity to play and dress with less, but without worrying that you made a mistake by getting rid of particular items.

Other people cull anything that doesn’t fit into the capsule or that just isn’t working for them anymore. The capsule becomes the basis of the wardrobe. The next season brings a few thoughtful new purchases, but they are limited.

I really enjoyed reading and looking at different people’s capsule wardrobes. If you want to check out two, here are two bloggers who discuss the process.

Lady Sarah London

UnFancy

As fun as it is reading about this as I was emptying my wardrobe, along the way I realized that a capsule wardrobe is not for me. My goal is to have a small wardrobe with great options, but I’m also the sort who is comfortable wearing “uniforms”. Some work appropriate tank tops, a couple of great jackets and a large choice in accessories make feel like I have tons of options. It’s a lazy person’s capsule wardrobe. And that is totally okay!

Getting rid of 75% of my clothes felt and still feels amazing. It was ruthless and I’m proud of my results. Where I got stressed out was when I tackled accessories. Shoes are easy because I stopped buying anything uncomfortable or for an imaginary lifestyle awhile ago. But my bags. And my scarves. And my costume jewelry. Ohhh, it was painful to sort through my old thrifted scores and presents from my mom and my boyfriend (and myself to myself). I loved it all and wanted to keep it all.

So to dull the pain, I started making piles. One pile was the ‘definitely get rid of it’. Another was ‘maybe, but I’m still attached’. That took a long time to transition over to the initial pile.

My magic question became: Is the item actually my style AND did I love and appreciate it enough? Would someone else love it more? My answers were the catalyst to letting go. I still have way too much jewelry and scarves. What shocked me is that I learned that although I love beautiful bags, I accepted that I don’t need to own everything I love and I can still appreciate and admire them in other ways. My bag collection is now 10% of what it used to be. Progress, progress, progress.